The Blog of suqueen

Some people say love can find you at any age, and I believe that. But at 71, I’ve come to realize something even more valuable than new romance peace.

If I were a widow at this age, I would find it hard for the notion of remarrying or finding a new partner to actually appeal to me. And not for the reasons you might think not because I don’t believe in love anymore but because peace, routine and comfort matter more to me now than the thrill of companionship. I've already walked that road of deep love, of compromise, of growing with someone. And that season, as beautiful as it was, has passed.

Starting over in your seventies isn’t as simple as it sounds. The thought of learning someone new, adjusting to their habits, navigating emotions and expectations it’s a lot. Yes indeed, at this age, I know that I know who I am, and I care about me , so I have learned to love my mornings just the way I want them also to have my home the way I want it, also my meals the way they need to be, my quiet nights filled by books and silent prayer or whimpered music ,putting someone else into that rhythm can be an interruption, even a nuisance, rather than a delight.

It is not that I am jaded, or don’t believe in love , I know people fall in love again" , I have known a few who have, and I think that is beautiful. Truly. Grief and loneliness is personal to all of us. It’s not just dating it’s rebuilding, and frankly, I just don’t have that energy or care about that anymore.

I would rather stay close to my children, grandchildren, and the people who already know me, Their presence is enough, their laughter fills the house, their hugs warm my heart, and I don’t feel alone.

Self-contentment is a kind of love too. A quiet, reliable kind. One that doesn’t ask for flowers or fancy dates, but still blooms just inside of you. I’m learning to hold on to that.

So no, I wouldn’t remarry. I wouldn’t look for another partner. And I don’t think that makes me lonely or incomplete. It just means I’ve found peace in myself and at this age, that peace is everything.

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